Category Archives: shopping

Carrefour Chinglish: What A Laughathon!

My wife and I had a field day during our first Carrefour adventure. The Chinglish was just awesome. Let’s just go through a few…

  • Check Points: Null problemo…
  • Good condition of the window: OK, like no scratches or stuff…
  • Trolley in anti-device kept: Here’s where it looks a tad odd… What on earth is, say, an anti-device? An anti-tank device?… And how the heck you do stick a trolley in that thing?
  • No trouble maker outside: No traitors, no cheaters, no con men, no members of banned “evil royal fetish” cults, and definitely no roaches. Am I right? Or just how do you define a “troublemaker”?
  • Patrol Equipment Don’s touch! Hey, get Patrol Don here. He’s supposed to give his touch of blessing on the thing!…

What It Should Read: Check Points
1. Window in good condition
2. Trolley safely stowed; anti-theft devices in working order
3. Proper order outside the store
Patrol Equipment – Do Not Touch!

Taken August 2011 in Beijing

Chinglish: The Latest “Kid’s Stuff”?

Sometimes the Chinglish can get so wild that it gets a little crass. Don’t Forget to Carry Your Thing was a little rough: now, we’ve…

Yep, that’s a tad on the crass side…

And while we don’t expect kids running these stores (although they might find the secret room where the broadcasts are done and take over the mic), it would be a tad more proper to call such places — CHILDREN’S STORES.

What It Should Read: XIN ZHONG GUO CHILDREN’S STORE
Taken in 2005 in Shanghai

Stairs + Chinglish = Airstairs?

Airstairs! The brand new innovation in Chinese supermarkets! Just like ’em Kung Fu movies… just hop ‘on a passing cloud, say some weird spell, and — go up a floor to the clothes you want!

Unfortunately, there’s nothing too airy about it. Just look at the icon next to it. It’s a plain-vanilla elevator, all right. And those things don’t work on air, but on lift shafts and pulleys. No weirdo mall Kung Fu, either…

What It Should Read: Elevators / Lifts
Taken 13 August 2011 in Beijing

Is That Plant Too Sensitive for Some Chinglish?

As if the mainland Chinese Web wasn’t sensitive territory yet…

Now we have sensitive plants as well!

Wife Tracy and I picked this up at the Carrefour in Beijing. I wonder what would happen if the plant hit something, or if there was a worm crawling on it, or what would happen if you took it onto a plane or something…

What It Should Read: Shy Plant
(Actually, that’d appear a bit corny too, but still…)
Taken 29 July 2011 in Beijing

Shopping for Chinglish in Beijing…

Shin Kong Place is the best mall in Beijing — if you are after the Chinglish, that is.

In mid-November 2008, I capture some of the oddest Chinglish there. Including this funny little snip: Parking Shin Kong Place. Welcome Shin Kong Place.

Add the Shin Kong Place bit at the top, and that’s three times we’ve seen Shin Kong Place on this parking ticket. It’s time to give a little break already!

On a more personal note: winter 2008-2009 has seen some amazing Chinglish. I’m sharing those with you soon. We are nearly at 2,200 cases of perfect Chinglish (in the offline database): this site isn’t going away any time soon… heh…

What It Should Read: Welcome to Shin Kong Place Parking Lot
Taken 17 November 2008 in Beijing